


My baby, it feels like a lifetime

by cyanlana



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: All they do is kiss so what do I add here..., F/M, Kissing, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, kiss prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 05:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20809034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyanlana/pseuds/cyanlana
Summary: Yona tries to “confess to” (read: seduce) Hak and (eventually) succeeds.Written for a Kiss prompt.





	My baby, it feels like a lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> "Heated kisses: Breath huffing into mouths, angrily or passionately. Hands grabbing at clothing and pulling each other closer."
> 
> Title from After-life by nothing but thieves. A beautiful song.

“Ah… you may have finally lost it, Princess.” Hak murmurs, casually, and although it’s without any heat, his body language alone paints an entirely different picture.

It doesn’t phase Yona in the slightest, and it doesn’t deter her beeline for his hands. For once, he’s wrong.

He’s warm, despite the fall chill, and she expects it before they even make contact. Her grip is loose at best, and it doesn’t take much for him to break away only a second later. Startled--she realizes. She's startled him.

Yona smiles up at him, trying to appear innocent, trying to coax the injured animal into the light. Riding this sudden wave of fearless bravery, it’s hard not to enjoy the way he meets her gaze, as if expecting her to turn away at any second.

Again, she pushes forward, unbothered by the silent stand-off she has no interest in entertaining.  _ I know the feeling, so I won’t pity you _ , she thinks. If only she were more observant, she could have realized this sooner.

“Why are you suddenly so antsy?” She asks, her hands falling to his sides, and although he doesn’t push her away, she feels the way his entire frame seems to shake under the touch. Like a mighty oak, worn and ready to go careening to the ground below.

It’s in in-genuine concern that she asks him at all. She knows why he’s nervous, because she’s been, for the past months (years?) of her life, living in that space of uncertainty and fear. She understands, in excruciating intimacy, how it feels to be where he is, and so-- she won’t pity him.

The air of mischief that Hak normally carries around like a shield of armor seems to be folding under the weight of the moment, as much as it could, anyway. The wavering smirk that Hak has been wearing slips off his face entirely, something close to an apprehensive weariness taking its place. Yona feels the last of her restraint leave with it, and in one last surge forwards, plants her way onto Hak’s lap.

Where his hands had fallen to his side before, they gravitate up to her hips, and it’s everything in an instant. Hot, demanding, she quite enjoys seeing him struggle to stay calm.

Breathing harshly through his nose, he stares her down another moment, question in every line of his features. Yona only smiles back, runs her hands down between the small space between them. He probably has things to say, she thinks, but if he wasn’t going to, she was okay with helping him get there.

The line between his brows is thin, wobbling in doubt, and… well, she couldn’t say what else for sure.

“Hak”, She declares, not willing to push him any further until he voiced his thoughts. As much as she believed she was doing something productive here, she needed to be sure. “What are you thinking?”

He tilts his head, breathing deeply once more, “That I must be dreaming.”, and that within itself is a declaration. Still not a good-enough one, though.

“Have you dreamt about this before?”

He says nothing, the grip loosening on her waist, a single hand reaching up to her face. She thinks he’s going to cup her cheek, but it only lingers for a second before her pushes a tuft of hair behind her ear, before finally coming to rest at the juncture of her throat and jaw, delicate in a way she doesn’t want.

But it’s still nice, and she goes with what he’s willing to give, pushing her face into his hold almost petulantly. Closing her eyes, she hums, hoping he’ll catch up to speed with what she’s been trying to accomplish. His fingers twitch on the skin behind her ear when she does.

“I’m here to protect you. Not fantasize selfishly in my free time.”

It’s so predictable she almost laughs, instead managing to roll her eyes, “And if I asked you to fantasize? What would you want from me?” Without reserve, what would it be like to know, to allow themselves to question?

“That doesn’t matter.” He grunts, and she almost yelps in protest when he tries pushing her back from the distance she’d managed to crowd.

“Hak-- I’m- I’m  _ ordering _ you to tell me. You don’t have a choice.” It’s not fair, she knows it’s not, but it was beginning to look bleak in the prospects of him talking, in any capacity.

They both still with the words, a tense silence following her outburst, mostly because it sounds so like something she would’ve said before, when things were different and she understood far less than she did now. She wondered for a moment if its a momentary lapse in judgment, or if it was because she really  _ didn’t  _ understand. Maybe Hak already knew this, perhaps… she was nothing more than a naive child, perhaps he knew better than to mess with her feelings.

The thrum of blood behind her ears roars loudly, as if mocking her embarrassment and sudden doubt. It’s the only thing she can hear, or feel, and at once she’s nauseous. This was a mistake-- she doesn’t know anything. Wanting to disappear, she forces her gaze up from where her head had fallen in surprise and shame-- her face and neck burning hot.

The apology that had been working it’s way up halts in it’s progress, Hak’s steely gaze concentrated on her, fierce, heavy, strong. Everything he was, concentrated and lasered into one point. Talk about biting off more than you could chew.

The look softens, although remaining ever-present, she belatedly notes the hand that’s still heavy and lingering over her pulse point. It’s incredibly revealing, if her heart-rate is anything to go by.

“I’d tell you that I need nothing more than for you to be happy. Happy and alive.”

Yona feels stuck, entirely and wholly trapped in a prison of her own design. What was she meant to say to that? ‘No, you're wrong. You must feel what I order you to feel.’? No. She wants Hak to be honest with her, and it was clear that he was being so.

“I see.” Is all she manages to utter, a heavy brick of anxiety in the pit of her stomach.

“You’re nervous.” He continues. Yona frowns, angry at his annoying teasing.

“I guess I am.” Its strange, feeling these feelings, speaking these words, and somehow, they still hadn’t moved much at all. Even if her entire world view suddenly felt skewed.

“What do you want, Princess?” he asks, and Yona feels like yelling. This was not going as planned, not at all, that, and somehow it still felt as though he was trying to act as her royal guard. Cold, and professional as ever.

She wanted to watch him fold under the weight of her influence, her very presence, the way she has so many times before. How it felt to survive the pull of a shared gravity, so demanding and forceful that there was nothing left to do but lie there and experience it. She needed to know how it felt to die on the same hill. What would happen if she let the flame she held grow into a campfire, start a wildfire. She just wants.

“I want you.” She decides, “And I want to know if you want me too.”

“That's a stupid question.” Hak deadpans, turning away from where she was once again staring him down, although more in irritation than anything else.

“I want to know if you see me as a woman, or as an obligation.” She tries, and he scoffs.

“You’re a pest, intolerable.” He says, without missing a beat, but he sounds amused; Yona feels anything but.

He won't even look at her anymore, finally severing all contact and leaning against the wall, as if to regain some distance. 

Sighing, she crosses her arms, “You’re the annoying one. But that doesn’t stop me from caring for you… from l--”

“Stop talking. This is nonsense, you’re just-- confused or something. It’s okay to feel confused.” Hak barks, and the look on his face is nothing short of despair.

“Is that why you're being so rude? You think I’m doing this because I’m confused, or-- bored?”

He doesn’t say anything, his broody gaze shifting around to the right of her. The rise of her eyebrows is entirely involuntary, an impulse at just how ridiculous this entire ‘confession’ was. He didn't  _ want _ to believe her.

“You and I both know you could chuck me clear across this room if you wanted to, without hesitation. You  _ want me _ here.”

It’s Hak’s turn to look incredulous, Yona continues, “There’s a part of you that knows I’m telling you the truth.”

“Just imagine, just this once. If you don’t like it, we’ll stop. I’ll stop. We can forget this ever happened.” Gently, confidently, she places her hands on his chest. It feels more bold than her initial move, or any ‘move’. It’s purposeful.

Hak makes some kind of  _ sound _ , at it, jerking from his casual recline against the wall behind him. Carefully, she drags her touch downward, until her hands lie over his abdomen. He doesn’t make any more sounds, deadly quiet, but his entire body seems to be tensing, winding up for battle.

_ You seem nervous _ , she thinks self-righteously, but instead of feeding into her pride, she demands him to, “Calm down.”

She’s surprised that he doesn’t attempt a remake back, only swallowing heavily. She watches in rapt attention, almost drunk on the way he watches her so closely.

Leaning forward, she pushes her weight onto the palms of her hands, wanting to be closer still. It’s when she inches away from Hak’s face that she sees just how still he’s really gone. He’s practically a statue, under her hands, under her gaze. She’s not sure she’s ever seen that happen before.

“Why’d you stop?” He rasps, still ever-so-still, she’s surprised he can speak while remaining so still.

“Why are you so tense… look at me. Hak.” She tries, moving back another inch, if just to give him room to breath.

“If you don’t do something soon, I’m going to. Princess. Make up your mind already.”

Yona gasps at Hak grabbing onto her thighs, his restraint dissolving by the second. They're finally eye level, and without another moment's hesitation, she brings her lips to his, pressing firmly, happily--  _ finally. _ She savors the heat that has finally found an outlet, the way it passes between them both. It slides down the back of her throat, sweet and thick, down her spine, into her stomach. If she were standing, she’d feel it pass into her thighs, but even here, in his lap, she feels how she’s shaking under the touch. There’s a heat to it even from the beginning, no timidness on either end.

Hak surges forward once, twice, his hands finding place in the dip of her waist, up her back, over her throat, back down to her hips. She moves with the pressure of his hands, so sure, so searching. It almost feels like a hopeless reverence, pushing taking, and  _ taking _ , and she loves it. She hums in agreement, would be singing her sounds of agreement, if Hak allowed for any of them to escape. He swallows it all, almost impatiently, his grip fluctuating between punishing and gentle, inconsistent. She enjoys how his usual self-restraint struggles to survive, how he holds her without fear of breaking her.

Yona turns her face into the kiss even more, opening up, her arms sliding and clamping around his shoulders, tightly, possessively. Right now, in this moment, he was hers, and no one else's. No matter what was going to happen afterwards, she’d have this one moment to herself.

“Hak.” She keens, wanting more, even if there wasn’t much more he could give her. Breaking off from her mouth, Yona begins to whine, only for it to devolve to a high pitched moan, a sob. He’s latched onto her neck, biting, with just as much force as their kiss, down the column of her throat. Squeezing her thighs together, she clamps around his hips, and his entire body jolts with it. She’s delusional, incoherent, eagerly helping him when he lifts her by the thighs, pushes her even farther up his torso, impossibly closer, somehow.

When Hak leans back once more, Yona wastes no time in preoccupying herself with the column of  _ his _ throat, still aware enough to appreciate his smell, the way he taste under her tongue. She isn’t entirely sure what she’s doing, but whatever  _ he _ was doing felt good, and she’d return the favor. Her approach is much more patient, deliberate, and slow, almost testing the waters. She runs her nose down his skin, deciding on a spot, and takes a patch of skin into her mouth; she notes how it’s rougher than his lips. Biting down, she waits for a reaction, and is delighted to hear and feel a strangled groan escape from under her deliberate treatment. She stays there for a moment, sucking briefly before pulling back.

Not getting far, Hak’s wandering hands have climbed under her shirt, his thumbs pressing into the dibs of her abdomen, an iron-clad grip, and he pulls her right back to his mouth. She gets a brief view of his face, more red than she’s seen all her years of living, eyes raging, yet clouded, lips bitten red, and as much as she loves the sight (the fact that she caused him to look that way, it sends a thrill through her), she wants her mouth on his. Even more than that, she wants to hear those simply delicious sounds from before. Placing her hands on his pecks, she pushes back after a few more seconds, to which Hak (begrudgingly) lets her.

“What’s wrong?” He heaves, the rise and fall of his breathing so prominent that his hair falls into his eyes, and the color of his shirt is torn open and skewed, a single mark from where she had latched on beginning to form. Even the artery under his skin is pulsing, the blood pumping bringing even more attention to where she’d like to be. Biting her lip, it takes an awful lot of self control not to continue.

“Nothing. Just wanted to look at you.” She blurts, the excitement in her chest growing. Has he always been this attractive?

A look crosses over Hak’s face, as if in sudden clarity. He seems to be either panicking or having some kind of realization.

“Actually. We-we need to stop.” he stutters, even as his hands grab at her waist.

Yona’s mouth opens in protest, and thinking quickly she grinds down, unfairly, pressing forward again. ”Why’s that?” She murmurs.

Hak’s eyes go rolling back into his skull, before shutting entirely, his teeth go biting down on his lower lip. ”Yo-Princess please, we agree that this was just--”

Yona mewls, places her lips against the shell of his ear, “Just a test? Results were definitely conclusive. You seem to be just as into it as I am.”

She thinks for a moment, “I want you Hak, and I really like you.”

He nods, as if in trance, before shaking his head, and then nodding again, obviously at war with his thoughts. Yona giggles, kissing him again, firmly, more softly than any other time. She waits, presses one more kiss, revels in the way it feels so right, how he melts completely.

“Okay.” He whispers. Yona smiles.

When he goes to press his forehead against hers, Yona thinks its for a kiss, but when he makes it clear that it’s not, she huffs impatiently.

“You said okay!”

Her frown deepens when he smiles lightly, his eyes still closed.

“I want you, too.”

“Okay perfe-”

“But I’m not doing anything with you until you have time to think about it.” Grabbing onto her shoulders, he pushes her away, before bringing a hand up to smooth over her hair, which had all but exploded in the excitement.

Slumping, she grumbles, pushing his hands away. “Whatever.”

“I’ll still be here tomorrow.”

Unimpressed she nods, “And the day after that.”

Looking away, Yona stretches, lifting her arms up. ”Mhm.” she agrees, not so innocently twisting around in place, still on top of him.

Lifting her up again, he stands entirely, and Yona grabs onto his shoulders, resting her face by his neck. Now that her head was a bit more clear, and the adrenaline was gone, she was feeling entirely too sleepy. “Sleep with me?” She says, mostly joking.

When Hak says “Sure.” She almost chokes.

“As long as sleeping is all you want. Don't tease if you can't handle teasing.”

Hiding her hot face in his shoulder, she grumbles again.

“Is this all it takes to shut you up? Kiss you?” Hak asks, with an exaggerated inflection.

Yona laughs, nodding into his skin.

When they do settle into bed (to  _ sleep _ , Princess), they sleep well, and when they wake up, Yona is happy to see it’s Hak at her side.

_ “Afterlife, oh what a terrible thought. _

_ Because i've lived without you once before _

_ It was only ever you. _

_ My baby, it feels like a lifetime. I don't think I could do 2.” _

**Author's Note:**

> The reason Hak seems so conflicted is because he thinks Yona only wants him physically/ is really just trying to figure things out. He doesn't want anything to happen (at first) because he doesn't think he could take it if he got a taste and only for her to decide that it was really just an impulsive moment of indecision. Or that she doesn't really have feelings.
> 
> I think I might make this a series where i continue the nonexistent plot from this piece, expanding on above ^. Thanks for reading, and comments motivate me to continue!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/cyanlana_)   
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